Pandra Reflections of Grief

		Too Much GLORY!





	I’m stronger, I’m wiser, and I’m so much better!

	It is so amazing to me how God uses our worst tragedies and pain to transform us into better human beings, but that's only if we allow Him to do so. My pain was so deeply rooted in my heart, mind, and soul, and I knew I had a critical choice to make. Through unimaginable agony, I realized that I could actually become bitter towards God, my nephew, and even life itself. A part of me felt as though that would be the easier road to travel, but nevertheless, within my true heart, I knew that there was no way that I was going to allow bitterness to alter my divine destiny. Since bitterness is such a powerful entity that it can penetrate into every aspect of my daily life. It can cause unwarranted conflict between family, friends and acquaintances to the extent of destroying every relationship I've ever established. Most importantly, it can quickly destroy my character which I've taken my whole life to earn. That's why I choose to allow my tragedies to make me better, instead of bitter. To me being better means that my character is more highly esteemed, I can hold my head up and know that I’m a survivor, and my personal relationship with God is much more intimate. Finally, I'm keenly aware of who I am, and no longer need anyone else to validate my worth. Ultimately, I hope to inspire others that they too can become better, instead of bitter. Since I've experienced death on various occasions, I definitely can say I'm stronger, I'm wiser, and I'm so much better. I never would've made it without God, my family, and the loving support of our extended family and friends. To God be the Glory!



	RED - LIGHT RUNNING
	Although other dangerous driving behaviors such as speeding and distracted driving garner more media focus, the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS) reports that Red-Light Running is the leading cause of motor vehicle collisions in cities. In 2006, 171,000 motor vehicle collisions were caused by drivers who ran red traffic lights, according to IIHS: 83,000 of these collisions caused injury, with a total of 144,000 individuals injured, and 791 of these collisions caused death, with a total of 887 individuals killed. Red-Light Running currently costs taxpayers at least $14 billion per year. In addition to the monetary cost, the cost of Red-Light Running in human costs is high; fatalities from collisions due to Red-Light Running are increasing at more than three times the rate of increase for all other deadly crashes, and more people are injured in motor vehicle crashes caused by drivers who run red lights than in any other type of crash. And it isn't just Red-Light Runners themselves who suffer; over half of the fatalities in collisions caused by drivers who run red lights are other motorists and pedestrians. And the fear engendered by Red-Light Runners is pervasive; in a survey performed by Old Dominion University, 56 percent of Americans admit to running red lights; yet 96 percent of drivers were afraid of being hit by a Red Light Runner. Every driver makes a decision when approaching an intersection where the light has just turned red. Today in America, way too often, the yellow light has come to symbolize," hurry up,"instead of,: slow down." Impatient drivers often choose to continue through the intersection, ignoring the law and putting other lives at risk. A 2005 review of red light camera studies around the world concluded that cameras reduce red light violations by 40-50 percent, and reduce injury crashes by 25-30 percent.

	There’s Too Much Glory!



	There’s too much glory to come from it!

	In January of 1999, I had a very profound, but extremely troubling dream that warned me about the death of our son, Paul, Jr. At the time I thought that it was referring to my husband, Paul, Sr., so I only told a few select people because the dream disturbed me so much. Every time I told the dream, I cried like a baby, because in the dream, God told me that he couldn't change His mind because it was too much Glory to come from it. Since He wanted to change His mind, but couldn't, in my dream, God just hovered over me with such profoundly overwhelming love, and allowed me to cry an ‘out of this world’ cry, unlike any I've ever heard or seen. Just before I awakened, He said, "Don't worry, just love!" This was odd, because I would've said, "Don't worry, be happy!" To make a long story short, as soon as I heard about the accident, I was reminded in my spirit, that this is my dream! Trust me, since that life altering day I've had countless bouts of screaming and hollering, just trying to survive another day. But I praise God that whenever I'm in the mist of what seems like my lowest valley of despair, I always literally feel God's same divinely comforting love' hovering over me, like I felt in my dream. I'll never forget one particular night, about 1 or 2 o' clock in the morning, I was crying out of control. Even my husband tried, but couldn't comfort me. Usually when I'm that hysterical, my mom would hear me from her bedroom next door, and would automatically come to help console me. However, this night she said she heard nothing! I remember screaming from my very soul! It actually felt as though I was hollering straight to the heavenly throne of God! I precisely remember hearing myself screaming, "Hold me Jesus! Hold me Jesus! Please hold me Jesus now," I heard myself steadily repeating. All of a sudden, I felt as though Jesus literally had me in His arms, and it felt as though He was spiritually rocking me in His arms. It was similar to the way a mother rocks her child, and the love was indescribable! Indeed, my experience was so profound that it's difficult to find the proper words to explain what really happened, because it was more spiritual than natural. The more he rocked me, the more I felt myself slowly calming down, and he just kept rocking me until I eventually came back to myself. I immediately realized that I had just had an encounter with the ‘divine comforter’ Himself! When my husband and I told my mother about my experience the following morning, she said that God didn't intend for her to hear me crying because He didn't want anyone to get the credit for comforting me, but Himself. Although I always feel God's hovering Spirit of comfort whenever I need it most, I'll forever cherish my encounter with the ' divine comforter ' Himself! I'm constantly reminded that there's too much Glory to come, and that somehow validates my pain! To God be the Glory!






	Andre, we can’t ever say goodbye, so we’ll see you later baby! Our lives will never be the same without you!

RED - LIGHT RUNNING